Give More

This week has been an up and down week for me or should I say down then up. I had a lot of things on my to do list that I wanted to get accomplished. I've got an accountability partner and a business coach that I meet with every week and I had a lot of tasks to do to stay on track. As I progressed through the week, I started to force things more and more. I was determined to get things done and quickly. Yet the more uptight I got about it, the slower things moved until finally Thursday afternoon things ground to a halt.

I took a break and did my workout and found some real anger there. As I did the martial arts portion I let out a really gutteral yell... I was pissed! The workout helped to reenergize me and give a creative outlet to my frustration but it did nothing to make my brain work faster or focus on the task at hand. Eventually, there was no other option left except to give up, to surrender and let go. I know sometimes giving up is given a bad rep but for me time and time again it has worked. I said "Okay, I get it, I can't do it on my own and I really don't want to. Please help." Then I laid on the floor and got all of my anger out, followed by my tears. It felt really good afterwards to lay there and be in the moment. To not have to worry about what to do next and to just be.

After a while I got up and put on some music. The first song that came on was "Give" by Third Day and it moved me. In that moment, I realized that all week long I'd been focusing more and more on what I had to do to get everything done and not on what I can give. That night I recommitted to asking powerful questions in my life like "How can I better serve?" and "What more can I give?". The shift has made all the difference. This morning I woke up inspired to write a blog posting and wouldn't you know it was one of the things on my to do list :)